6 posts tagged “south africa”

I went home for lunch today.  (The dog is crazy, but too cute not to love.)

Walking the pup, I remembered a very funny thing from last night.  It made me giggle.  It made me smile a little too.  I felt kinda warm and fuzzy.

verb (used without object):  to impress favorably; charm; enamor.

adjective:  ardent, eager, very keen, fond, besotted, charmed, sweet on, turned on, amorous.

It's funny how it works ..  this whole "having a real relationship with your parents" thing.  I spent all kinds of time wanting to be as far away from them as possible, breaking away into my own human being, not wanting to care what they thought about it all.  I guess we all do that, to a certain extent.

And then, at some point, I realized that my parents aren't so bad.

In fact, my friends who have met the folks tell me how lucky I am to have such cool parents.  And they're right.  My parents are pretty friggin' cool.

It took us a long time to get to this point, for sure.  It took some years of fighting and iced tea throwing and swearing and not talking, but we're here now.  I did not believe that we'd ever get to a point where we'd be friends ...  But we did.

And this isn't to say that I don't argue with my parents.  We do, from time to time.  Not about anything major anymore, but we'll argue.  And since I am my father's child, fighting with him is particularly ugly.  Nobody holds a grudge, though, so we make peace pretty quickly.

My point is not to ramble on and on about my folks and my relationship with them ...  It's good, and that's that.

The point is that I'm still pretty private about my personal life, even though I tell my parents a lot.  I go through men faster than I change my clothes (on most occasions), so I try not to confuse my folks by telling them too many names.  Obvi, I would never give them any of the details - that's just icky - but I know that they'd like to feel more "informed" when it comes to my dating situation.  Not that they give me any grief about getting married and having kids (thankfully they have their hands full with my bro's daughter and my sister's son), but they want to see me happy.  And I think my dad finally wants to spend that "wedding fund" he built. 

(I'm kidding about the fund.  They spent that money years ago.)

I was forced to mention SA to my mom last week, so she asked a few questions over the weekend.  Nothing too prying, of course, but she was definitely curious.  And she followed up those questions by asking why I didn't bring him home to NJ for Father's Day.  I didn't want to have to explain to her that since SA and I haven't had any sleepovers yet, it would have been awkward to invite him to my parents' house where we would have had no choice but to share a room.  Instead I just told her that it was too soon ...  which seemed to quell her curiosity.

For now.

So here's the new challenge ...  My parents are flying to FL today to work on the new house they bought in PBG.  They'll be in until Friday - not too long, but long enough for me to have dinner with them one night this week.  SA knows that they're coming in.  He knows that I'm likely meeting them for dinner on Thursday.  AND my parents know about SA, who has some real potential.  Plus they know that PA is 100% out.

The question becomes, Do I invite SA to dinner on Thurs night?  It would be neutral ground (as opposed to dragging the poor guy to NJ), and I am sure that my folks are curious.  SA might be curious, too, although he would never ask to be invited.  He's not my "BF" (I already mentioned the notable lack of sleepovers, which implies a very endearing preference for taking things slowly), but we talk nearly every day.  Is dinner too much?  Too soon?  I don't know.  I spent so many years refusing to introduce my parents to anyone I dated -- um, hi, remember Bartender Joe? -- that maybe I'm over-compensating. Or maybe I just know now which of the guys I date are better matches for me, so I feel comfortable bringing this one along.  Not sure.

The debate rages on.  What do you guys think?

Why, I do believe that my South African connection is beginning to pay dividends ...

(Did I sound wholly southern just now?  Good lord.)

Such promise in the SA connection.  Such kindness and warmth.  Such old-world classic styles.  I'm beginning to adore my SA connection.

I really can't explain the connection.

Souvenir K (because everyone has a nickname) asked me 4 questions while he was on his trip to South Africa and Zimbabwe.  I knew I was getting a souvenir of some kind, but I was expecting the questions to be related to the gift.

I'm pretty sure they weren't.

In any event, Souvenir K brought me back a beaded necklace.  It's very pretty and I'm thankful that he was thoughtful enough to bring me something from his trip.  I just don't understand the connection between the necklace and the questions.

Oh well.  I have a necklace.  And a very good friend in K.

Don't worry -- this isn't a review of "Ma Nishtanah," so you MOTs out there can stop calculating who the youngest person in the room is.

My curiosity was piqued about 3 weeks ago, when I was asked 2 questions.  Last week, another 2 were posed.  I've been having trouble finding the common thread among them, so I was hoping someone else's brain power would move my electric cart forward.

Context:  My South African friend K was disappearing to his native country for a few weeks, to visit family & friends and to check on his business there.  I, of course, asked him what he planned to bring me as a souvenir.  His answer:  "An African name."  No problem - it was inexpensive and it was easy for him to carry back with him on the plane.  Then the first 2 questions were delivered:

What is your favorite colour?  [his spelling - not mine]

What kinds of music do you listen to?

Seemed harmless enough.  I assumed he was debating about what to bring me -- some indigenously crafted handiwork, or perhaps some local sounds of popular band.  Either would rock the new pad (when I eventually move).  But then came the next 2 inquiries:

What is your star sign?

What are your top 5 favorite wild creatures (not including humans)?

I was definitely out of my element ...  Neither of these things seems to mesh with the first 2 questions, and these 2 didn't connect to one another.  What could he be thinking?

I'm at a loss ...  There is nothing striking about any of the questions, but because they were posed without any context of their own, without any small talk or banter to precede them, they seem so arbitrary. If I know K at all, though, there is nothing random about those questions.

So, I ask you - dear VOX friends - what could they mean?  Your guidance is immeasurably appreciated.

Brain-fried and defenseless,
Roboco

P.S.  I should mention that certain friends who know us both - K and me - think that my South African friend wants to be more than My South African Friend.  Could his questions be related?

Things that make you go, "Hmmmm..."

Thandi

In the Xhosa language, "Thandi" means "tender, loving care."  In South Africa's Western Cape, the Thandi vineyard is a unique role model for racial equality.

Some translations equate "Thandi" with "nurturing love."  Quite appropriate for the first true Fair Trade accredited wine, with 90% ownership in the hands of its workers.

Thandi = the Loving One

I like it.