23 posts tagged “qotd”

When I was in elementary school, the administration used to post the class lists on the front doors of the school about 3 weeks before classes started. Nobody ever wanted Ms McKeever as a teacher, for any subject. In the 3rd grade, I somehow ended up with her as mine.

Ms McKeever was what you might a call a spinster. She never married, and even as an 8-year-old, we knew why. She made it clear to us that she was angry about men, which didn't explain her fascination with wooden mallards but was disturbing nonetheless. (Yes, I said wooden mallards. For those of you who watched "Sex and The City," you'll remember Charlotte's first husband Trey was a fan as well.) She brought some of the ducks into class, her shirts were patterned with them ... It was creepy.

So one day in class, I'm wearing my new watch. My parents finally trusted me with one, and I was super proud of the gorgeous Swatch on my arm. On that particular day, I realized during our reading lesson that I could catch the sun on the face of the watch and make a pretty little light on the wall. And on the chalkboard. And on Ms McKeever's sleeve. And on her face. And on her eye. Ha! I caught her in the eye! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oops. She realized that the little bugger was me, and she took the watch right off my arm. Into her desk drawer it went for the rest of the day. She told me I could have it back when classes were over.

Well, I was never one to be terribly patient, so during recess I snuck back into the classroom and took the watch. I placed it inside my own desk drawer so that she wouldn't know I had it. I was pretty clever.

So at the end of the day, when nasty Ms McKeever went into her drawer to give me my watch back, it was missing! Holy smokes - how did it disappear?!? She couldn't imagine where the watch could have gone, and for a brief, glorious few moments, she actually seemed to panic. Her mousy blond flat hair started to frizz, her unnaturally frozen expression started to crack, and I'm pretty sure that she started to stutter.

I was in heaven.

... until she noticed the giggling coming from my general direction. I couldn't hold it in -- I was nearly bursting at the seams, wanting to crack up at the fact that I stole my watch back in an effort to piss her off. It had worked!

I got into some trouble for it, but my folks knew what a b!tch she was and how tough she had been on me. I believe that they secretly thought it pretty darn creative and definitely funny for an 8-year-old. They would never admit it, though.

Ah, good times.

F*** you, Ms McKeever!

QotD: The Best Brew

Feb 12, 2007
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What method do you use to prepare your coffee or tea?
Submitted by AgentBouche.

I drink the crap at work. It's one of those industrial machines that pounds out steaming hot water into a steel canister for later pumping. I brew the French Vanilla for my flavored crowd, and Seattle's best for my Cuban friends.

I drink it because every penny counts. I need money to close on a condo that, at this rate, will never be finished!

Speaking of which, I could use another cup right now for the home stretch. Gotta run...