Dear Harry,

Dear Mr Hanukkah Harry,

Thanks a lot!  [Note sarcasm in greeting.] 

You know, I was going to write to that fat guy in the red suit about the Hockey Team I wanted for Hanukkah, but I decided that maybe you'd be more effective, seeing as how you're less busy this time of year.  (There are a lot fewer Jews on the planet, after all.)  Instead, what did I get?

NOTHING!

I certainly didn't get the team I asked for ...  I mean, the Flyboys lost 10 games in a row!  Yeah yeah, they're aiming for the bottom, for sure, but don't you think you could have done something to help out?  Don't you have fairy dust to sprinkle around town to create some magic?  I didn't think I was asking for too much, and I did leave those yummy rugelach on the counter for your visit.  What happened?

I know I don't look like a member of the tribe, but I can prove that I am.  As a committed MOT, I expected more from you, Mr All-Powerful Hanukkah-Gift-Man.

Maybe next year I will write to the big fat man in the red suit.  How do you like them apples?  At least I know he'll eat the treyfe cookies I choose to serve, and I bet his reindeer won't leave "presents" on my balcony.

Even if the Fat Man doesn't give me the team I ask for, he might leave me a token something -- maybe access to the extra sports cable channels?  Whatever.  You have a whole year to redeem yourself.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for the win last night!  [Note the sincerity.]  The Broad Street Bullies finally pulled one out.  AND against a team they haven't beaten since April 2003.  You're the best.

Big hugs,

Lil' ol' Me